I sat with butterflies in my stomach Sunday night as I sat waiting for Ryder's turn to lead a song during worship service. Ryder was third, after Grey and then Camden. I have not been that nervous in such a long time. It was a crazy, unexpected feeling. I always love watching the kids lead services, and sometimes you can tell the kids are nervous, but I really never, ever thought about the mother's being nervous. I expected to be proud, excited, joyful, but I didn't get where the nervousness was coming from.....until AFTER....
Yes, AFTER services, AFTER Camden and Ryder had walked up to the pulpit, climbed the step stool (stoodle, as Ryder would say :), led their songs (and Cam said his verses), climbed down and came back to sit with us with a big hug. AFTER it was all over, I finally realized why I was so nervous.
I had willingly, knowingly, and purposefully allowed my TWO year old to walk by HIMSELF up to the pulpit in front of everyone (and we were at Central, so it wasn't even our home congregation) during worship services-a time meant to be respectful, with a MICROPHONE, where he was SUPPOSED to sing loud enough for everyone to hear, and the closest adult was not in INSTANT grabbing distance (although John was very close, and he is VERY good with kids), and then Ryder was once again was supposed to walk by HIMSELF back to me. At that point, I realized that ANYTHING could have happened.
ANYTHING. I will name just a few that I thought: He could have ran across the other side of the pulpit screaming, or happily began Old McDonald, or decided to not come back down after realizing he was finally up at the pulpit instead of quietly on the pew beside me. And that doesn't even include the not-bad things such as getting scared and crying or leading "Jesus Loves Me" instead of his song or just going blank.
No wonder I was nervous! I had given away control of my baby, but I just didn't realize what I was doing. I'm just happy that I realized WHY I was so nervous AFTER he had done such a sweetly perfect job of leading his song. And it really was sweetly perfect. Because right now, it doesn't matter what his voice sounds like with the tune, or if he skips a word or jumbles red and yellow together. The little baby voice proudly proclaiming that Jesus loves all the children of the world just lets you know how very true that is, and how very meaningful it is. Hearing Ryder sing those words, even when he is not at the pulpit, puts the picture to Jesus telling his disciples, "Let the little children come to me."
So next week, the boys will be leading services at East Side. I have no idea if I will be nervous or not, but I do know that listening to the girls lead the women in songs and prayer and lessons, and then hearing the boys lead the worship service lets us know why we should be as little children. I am so proud of all our kids, and so thankful for the leadership at East Side that makes it a priority to give our kids, our babies, a chance to become leaders, to write the word of God on their hearts, and to develop their own faith, from which we ALL can learn.
I've watched Ryder playing on the pulpit for two years now from crawling to jumping, but I never expected that I would be sitting and waitingforRyder to walk himself up to the pulpit, and lead the congregation in a song, all by himself, and do such a perfect job so soon.
Yes, AFTER services, AFTER Camden and Ryder had walked up to the pulpit, climbed the step stool (stoodle, as Ryder would say :), led their songs (and Cam said his verses), climbed down and came back to sit with us with a big hug. AFTER it was all over, I finally realized why I was so nervous.
I had willingly, knowingly, and purposefully allowed my TWO year old to walk by HIMSELF up to the pulpit in front of everyone (and we were at Central, so it wasn't even our home congregation) during worship services-a time meant to be respectful, with a MICROPHONE, where he was SUPPOSED to sing loud enough for everyone to hear, and the closest adult was not in INSTANT grabbing distance (although John was very close, and he is VERY good with kids), and then Ryder was once again was supposed to walk by HIMSELF back to me. At that point, I realized that ANYTHING could have happened.
ANYTHING. I will name just a few that I thought: He could have ran across the other side of the pulpit screaming, or happily began Old McDonald, or decided to not come back down after realizing he was finally up at the pulpit instead of quietly on the pew beside me. And that doesn't even include the not-bad things such as getting scared and crying or leading "Jesus Loves Me" instead of his song or just going blank.
No wonder I was nervous! I had given away control of my baby, but I just didn't realize what I was doing. I'm just happy that I realized WHY I was so nervous AFTER he had done such a sweetly perfect job of leading his song. And it really was sweetly perfect. Because right now, it doesn't matter what his voice sounds like with the tune, or if he skips a word or jumbles red and yellow together. The little baby voice proudly proclaiming that Jesus loves all the children of the world just lets you know how very true that is, and how very meaningful it is. Hearing Ryder sing those words, even when he is not at the pulpit, puts the picture to Jesus telling his disciples, "Let the little children come to me."
So next week, the boys will be leading services at East Side. I have no idea if I will be nervous or not, but I do know that listening to the girls lead the women in songs and prayer and lessons, and then hearing the boys lead the worship service lets us know why we should be as little children. I am so proud of all our kids, and so thankful for the leadership at East Side that makes it a priority to give our kids, our babies, a chance to become leaders, to write the word of God on their hearts, and to develop their own faith, from which we ALL can learn.
I've watched Ryder playing on the pulpit for two years now from crawling to jumping, but I never expected that I would be sitting and waitingforRyder to walk himself up to the pulpit, and lead the congregation in a song, all by himself, and do such a perfect job so soon.
(Picture from VBS last year. Thanks, Brittany, for the picture of this gorgeous boy :)
